


Sunshine Riptide.

by wonwhale (ranithepirate)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Comedy, Drinking, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, JiHan if you squint, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, Smoking, this took a little bit of an emotional turn but i swear it's all good in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-19 06:02:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13698339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranithepirate/pseuds/wonwhale
Summary: Wonwoo is avoiding Soonyoung.(Or, alternatively, Jeonghan and alcohol is never good idea.)





	1. You came in like a wave;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I've sold my soul to SoonWoo. Also sorry for the lack of editing, I was suddenly hit by inspiration and wrote this out really quickly.

Wonwoo is avoiding Soonyoung.

He has been all day, which is an incredible feat considering that they go to the same goddamn university. And yeah, you could argue that it’s because they have different declared majors and no longer share any classes now that they’re juniors, but they  _do_  share a dorm and eat lunch together with their friend group every single day, which makes his efforts even more impressive.

Their schedules don’t match up in mornings so Soonyoung hadn’t noticed anything was off about his day until later that afternoon, realizing that even when they’re in the same vicinity, Wonwoo has very adamantly not looked in his direction once. Actually, Wonwoo hasn’t said a single word to him all day, or even replied to any of Soonyoung’s texts when he normally would respond within a few minutes.

If Wonwoo was angry with him, Soonyoung would totally get it—in fact, he’d be relieved. He’s been on wrong side of Wonwoo’s cold shoulder a few times in the past, and it’s nothing he couldn’t handle. They’ve known each other since middle school so it doesn’t come as a surprise that they’ve fought before, even if Wonwoo rarely gets mad for real in the first place. Still, all forms of Wonwoo’s wrath have consistently been peppered with a plethora of passive-aggressive jabs and lots of spiteful scowling if the situation allows it, like some sort of all-you-can-eat buffet of  _“Hey I’m really annoyed with you and I want you to know so you can apologize, but I’m just going to glare at you instead.”_

This, however, is entirely different.

There hasn’t been any of the usual insults and eye-rolls, no snide comments or longsuffering sighs of contempt, which is deeply troubling on Soonyoung’s part. It’s like Wonwoo suddenly doesn’t even want to acknowledge his existence, or want anything to do with him.

Soonyoung is completely aware that he and Wonwoo aren’t attached at the hip twenty-four-seven, that Wonwoo isn’t required to talk to him every single day, but they’re more close than they let on. Frankly, Soonyoung hasn’t gone a single day in the past ten years of his life without having  _some_  sort of contact with Wonwoo, whether it be physical or electronic. That’s basically half his lifespan so far, which is kind of worrisome now that he thinks about it, but that’s a worry for another time. Soonyoung is starting to believe that he might be experiencing Wonwoo-withdrawal symptoms—which is somehow a thing for him now—and the afternoon isn’t even over yet.

All these thoughts running through Soonyoung’s head basically return right back to the same conclusion he started with: Wonwoo is avoiding him. Actively. He’s not even trying to hide it or anything, if the way he’d turned around and walked off in the opposite direction when he spotted Soonyoung approaching was anything to go by. It’s not very clear how Wonwoo is feeling about all this either when he won’t even look in his direction so that Soonyoung, a proud expert in interpreting all of Wonwoo’s minute expressions, can decipher his emotions.  _Ah, maybe that’s why_   _he’s not looking at me_ , Soonyoung realizes a beat too late, chewing on his lower lip as he stares down at his empty notebook, experiencing an existential crisis in the middle of an art history lecture. Worst of all, Soonyoung fears that he might know why this is happening.

Scratch that; he’s certain he knows exactly why.

It all goes back to the small get-together they had yesterday at Jeonghan, Seungcheol, and Joshua’s shared apartment, when they were enjoying their last free night before the start of a brand-new semester. In fact, Soonyoung can very confidently blame Jeonghan for this entire situation, since Jeonghan is a sly hyung who is the true instigator of all the most noteworthy episodes that occur within their group.

After a couple rounds of beer and laughter, when their tongues and inhibitions had loosened in the cramped living room space full of testosterone, a very drunk Jeonghan had surprisingly grown adamant about the idea that Wonwoo and Soonyoung were madly in love with each other. “I mean, why  _else_  would you two bicker and argue all the time like this?” he’d said to them challengingly with narrowed eyes, arms crossed over his chest. His voice had gotten increasingly louder with each drink and suddenly everyone was tuned into their apparently more interesting conversation.

It’s hard to stop Jeonghan from rambling once he’s already got an idea in his head because he’ll rant about it until someone pays attention to him, especially when he’s intoxicated, which is normally hilarious—unless it’s directed towards you. Despite Soonyoung’s half-hearted protests and Wonwoo’s suddenly very somber expression, Jeonghan continues to slur accusingly at them under the watchful looks of all their friends. “You guys argue so much that it could practically be considered hatred!  _Unless_ , of course, it's all just a cover-up to hide how you two really feel, then it’s just a serious case of UST and needs to be fixed!”

Unlike how it would go on any other day—with Jeonghan’s drunken ranting getting dismissed for being overly melodramatic by everyone—no one says anything, just taking in the information like it actually made sense. In the sudden silence, all eyes were on them, scrutinizing as they mentally flipped through their memories to pass their own judgements on what they thought of their friendship; Soonyoung and Wonwoo just had to be sitting next to each other, too, when normally Soonyoung would sit at the coffee table to be closer to all the copious amounts of alcohol while Wonwoo slowly nursed a single bottle on the couch, squished against the armrest next to Seungcheol or Mingyu.

In the midst of the brief hush, Jeonghan had zeroed in on Soonyoung, who’d grown suspiciously quiet during Jeonghan’s rant when he’d normally argue back loudly if he didn’t agree with something. The truth was that Jeonghan was not wrong—at least, not on Soonyoung’s part, and he knew it. Soonyoung has been actively aware of his growing feelings for Wonwoo for nearly two years now, which not only makes Jeonghan’s detection incredibly distressing for him, but embarrassingly accurate because Soonyoung has been getting worse at hiding his true feelings the more aware of them he becomes.

Maybe he’d have laughed the accusation off any other time, playing it cool in front of Wonwoo and possibly crying about it later alone in the bathroom if he’s not inebriated enough to forget, but in that moment Soonyoung had felt incredibly weak and exposed—and even if his lips remain zipped tightly shut, his ears had grown tellingly red.

Before Jeonghan could call him out for looking like a deer in headlights, Hansol had suddenly spoken up. This thankfully distracted Jeonghan from voicing whatever accusations he was about to make to fully expose Soonyoung before his heart was ready to face that level of humiliation and rejection. Soonyoung was grateful enough that he could’ve kissed Hansol then and there, if it weren’t for what he said. “You know… Jeonghan hyung is kinda right. It honestly doesn’t make much sense to room with someone you don’t get along with,” Hansol commented, innocently thinking aloud and unaware of the chaos his words were about to spark. “ _Or_  text each other all the time.”

With that reasoning, the floodgates had burst open, and suddenly everyone had something to say about the two of them, transforming their casual evening get-together into an expose Soonyoung and Wonwoo’s “top-secret” relationship session.

“Oh god, you’re right! I remember when our dance team went on that trip to L.A. to take classes at Millennium,” Minghao groans, throwing back his head theatrically as he recalls the memory with distaste, making Soonyoung want to dissolve into the couch. “They called each other every! Single! Day! I remember thinking it was weird because I didn’t even know they were that close, but I just ignored it thinking it was some weird childhood-friend thing you Korean people do.”

Next to him Junhui nods in agreement, adding, “Actually I noticed how even when they’re near each other they’re always constantly paying attention to each other and bickering across the table. Plus they’re always going off together somewhere or another too, it makes me so lonely!”

“I remember when we went shopping together, Soonyoung kept asking me what looked good but then wouldn’t agree with anything I recommended,” Seungkwan complains with a shake of his head, making a face at the man in question. “But then later Wonwoo found a jacket he wanted to buy so he made Soonyoung try it on for him. He even helped him put it on, and then they both bought matching ones in different colors! It was basically a date! I don’t even know why the rest of us even went.”

Seokmin snickers hard at that, nodding in agreement. “Soonyoung’s boyfriend from the time got really pissed about it when he found out, and then broke up with him thinking he was being two-timed. When he told me back then, I thought the poor guy was just overthinking it, but now I realize he really must have went through a lot those few months he did try to put up with it.”

“Actually, didn’t Soonyoung even sit on Wonwoo’s lap in front of him once? It was for a dare but they didn’t really move after that,” Jihoon mentions loud enough to be heard, and immediately the entire room had dissolved into fits of glee as they all enthusiastically recalled the memory.

“I remember! The guy was fuming!” Junhui agreed through giggles, falling over. “I even told him not to think too much into it and everything!”

Everyone was having so much fun, laughing and sharing random moments they could recall despite all the alcohol in their systems, and Soonyoung honestly couldn’t tell if they were convinced that he and Wonwoo were dating or if they were all just joking around and teasing them for being so co-dependent. He hadn’t even realized that he and Wonwoo had done all those things in front of them, or that they might have come across as non-platonic in any of those situations.

Soonyoung was so mortified that he was sure he would die if their roast continued any longer, turning to his bottle in a shoddy attempt to maybe drown himself with the little alcohol left inside.

Until.

There was a nudge in his side and Soonyoung’s knee-jerk reaction was to look over immediately through his shame, despite knowing it was Wonwoo trying to get his attention amidst the mess. His eyes widened when he saw Wonwoo’s concerned expression instead, eyebrows furrowed and pink lips curving downwards, clearly upset. “Your boyfriend broke up with you because of me?” he’d asked in that low voice of his, quietly enough that no one else heard him over all the loud chatter going on around them.

Wonwoo’s face was impassive and cold like it usually is by default, but Soonyoung has always known better and could see how horrified and conflicted Wonwoo’s dark eyes are behind his wire-rimmed glasses. Immediately Soonyoung had felt bad because he’d cried pretty hard when his ex-boyfriend broke up with him, but not for the reason that Wonwoo thinks—which is, to say, actual heartbreak. He’d cried back then because he  _hadn’t_  felt anything from the breakup, except finding out that he’d just confirmed to himself just how hopelessly in love with his best friend he’d become.

Obviously Wonwoo hadn’t known that, and back then, instead of saying anything, he’d just given Soonyoung a comforting hug and kept him close-by to take care of him for a good few weeks. Soonyoung might have also exaggerated his sadness over the breakup for longer than he needed to so that Wonwoo would let him cuddle and sleep in the same bed, which is honestly pathetic when he thought back on it, but Soonyoung can’t say he regrets doing it, either.

“It was because of me, not you,” Soonyoung had assured Wonwoo just as quietly so that no one else could overhear, but also not meeting the taller man’s eyes in case he could read Soonyoung just as well as Soonyoung could read him, somehow figuring out his real feelings in this moment of weakness. “He found out something really stupid and embarrassing about me, so we broke up. It wasn’t because of you, I swear.”

Soonyoung had chanced a glance up at Wonwoo then, which was a mistake on his part because Wonwoo was staring right back, sharp eyes scrutinizing him carefully. Soonyoung couldn’t look away, caught like a mouse in a trap, feeling the heat traveling up the back of his neck and flooding into his cheeks; he’d hoped with all his heart that Wonwoo would think it was just a flush from the alcohol and not because Soonyoung was suddenly overcome with a desire to crawl on top of him and kiss him.

“Wow, you guys are so bad at hiding your relationship, I honestly can’t believe we didn’t notice until now,” Jeonghan comments loudly, making a face as he watched the exchange, drunk enough that his brain-to-mouth filter has completely shut off at this point. His flare-up had broken whatever bubble was encasing the two of them and Soonyoung looked away as soon as he was brought back to his senses, anxious wide eyes on Jeonghan again. “I feel betrayed! My own two kids! Secretly dating! Clearly you both don’t love me anymore! I’ve been scorned!”

Next to him, Joshua rolled his eyes, pressing an empty bottle against his friend’s mouth to muffle his voice. “Stop being dramatic, they probably knew we’d make a big deal out of it.”

“We’re not together,” Soonyoung tried to correct meekly, but it only fell to deaf ears, his heart in his throat and choking his voice so that it barely even came out.

“I think it’s cute,” Mingyu slurred, half-asleep with his face on the floor as he snuggled with an unopened pack of beer. “I wouldn’t’ve made a big deal out of it.”

“You’d be the first to give them away,” Seungcheol snorted with a smack to the back of Mingyu’s head, shaking his head fondly. “I’m sure they have their reasons.”

Soonyoung had tried to speak up again, a little louder that time. “Um, guys, we’re not—”

“But I thought Wonwoo hyung was straight?” Chan remarked loudly from the kitchen, where he was fetching more alcohol as per Jeonghan’s drunken request for more. “I’m pretty sure he’s only ever dated girls.”

“Love can change people. Also, bi people exist!” Jeonghan quipped despite Joshua’s continued attempts to keep his flatmate’s mouth shut. “And anyway, they wouldn’t be dating if Wonwoo cared about all that! Just like how they don’t care about me!”

Soonyoung wanted nothing more than to die right then, hunched over and sweating like a maniac. His face was so hot it could’ve melted off right then, and he couldn’t look at Wonwoo in case his best friend had a look of disgust on his face at the thought of them being together; Soonyoung’s heart wouldn’t be able to make it out alive if he saw that. “We’re not dating—” he attempted to announce again, but his small protest got lost in the sea of conversation instead.

And, just like that, it’d seemed like Wonwoo, who’d apparently been noticing Soonyoung’s feeble attempts to do damage control, had finally reached his final straw.  _“We’re not dating!”_ he exclaimed suddenly, louder than he’s ever been, visibly angered. It was completely uncharacteristic of him; he’d stood up in his outburst, immediately halting all banter as everyone’s gazes zeroed in on him, including Soonyoung, who was gaping. He’d reached out, maybe to stop Wonwoo or something, but hadn’t done so in time.

“Could you guys stop overanalyzing our friendship for  _one damn second_  and see how uncomfortable you’re making us? Soonyoung can’t even talk properly now, for fuck’s sake!” Wonwoo continued, thunderous, throwing down his bottle on the couch. It was thankfully empty but had still hit the surface hard enough that it ended up falling to the carpet with a dull clunk. Wonwoo strode out of the apartment then, his shoulders tense and squared, despite the rest of them calling out to him to come back.

Everyone was clearly startled, witnessing for the first time what Wonwoo looked like when he was actually angry, a sight Soonyoung hadn’t seen since Wonwoo’s rebellious stage in high school. It’s then that all their friends turned their attention to Soonyoung, who was still gaping at the door Wonwoo had just slammed shut behind him. Completely sobered and stomach curdling from uneasiness and embarrassment, Soonyoung had quickly gotten up, fumbling for their jackets and sprinting towards the door.

“Um, I, uh, better go after him,” he’d announced curtly without looking back, not waiting around before running after Wonwoo. He wasn’t angry at the others or anything, he just had a bad feeling about Wonwoo’s words—especially the way he’d said that their friends were making  _both_  of them uncomfortable.

Wonwoo had clearly noticed Soonyoung’s stupid floundering enough that he grown upset about it, so maybe he’d also noticed Soonyoung’s secret feelings, too, and felt the need to leave so that Soonyoung wouldn’t feel humiliated anymore because of him. It was a very Wonwoo-like thing to do, ejecting himself from a situation the second he thought he was making anyone feel uneasy; Wonwoo hated confrontation just as much as Soonyoung did, which was probably why Soonyoung ran after him in the first place, the need to clear things up growing more desperate inside him.

The very thought that Wonwoo might have felt bad for him made Soonyoung queasy, chewing on his lower lip as he slipped on his jacket and hoped with all his heart that Wonwoo hadn’t gotten very far. The chances of his roommate going back to their dorm after his outburst was slim to none, and Soonyoung really,  _really,_  needed to talk to him first before things became horribly awkward. Honestly he’d lie through his teeth if it meant keeping their close bond untouched, so Soonyoung did the only thing he could in that moment: he hugged Wonwoo’s jacket close to his chest and broke out into a run in the direction of their usual route back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is taken from the FOB song with the same name. ~~This is a two-parter so the last part will be up in a day or two!~~ I just needed a mental break from university.


	2. You are my truest feeling yet;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another unedited chapter ahhh. also i'm sorry, this got a lot more emotional than planned... aaand there's gonna be a third part. it's the last one, i promise lol.

It hadn’t taken very long for Soonyoung to spot Wonwoo’s lanky figure a few streets away at the nearest bus stop, glaring down at the lighter in his hand because the leather jacket he’d left behind had his pack of cigarettes in it. As Soonyoung quickly approached the taller man, worried that the bus might arrive before he would, he realized that he was shaking. He pulled out the cigarettes from the inner pocket of Wonwoo’s jacket for him with trembling fingers, nervousness holding his voice hostage again when he’s close enough to speak up and be heard.

 _There’s no reason to be so scared_ , Soonyoung had to remind himself. _This is nothing. Haven’t I been acting all this time anyway? The situation is still salvageable!_ Still, it’s only after a good minute of stupidly opening and closing his mouth despite his mental reassurances that he finally manages to mumble out something. “Wonwoo…” Soonyoung started, his best friend’s name slipping hesitantly from his mouth; he hadn’t even spoken that loudly, but Wonwoo always notices him.

The taller man turned immediately with a startled expression, hand on his chest as he gaped at Soonyoung with shock for a second just before his face fell. “I’m sorry for what happened back there,” Wonwoo apologized straightaway, eyes lowered and fingers rubbing the back of his neck in the way that he does when he’s sheepish and can’t figure out what to do with his hands. “They were putting us in a difficult position and it made me upset to see you look so uncomfortable. I hope no one is too mad. I probably ruined the mood, too. I… really, I didn’t mean to lash out at everyone like that.”

Wonwoo was talking to him so normally that Soonyoung’s apprehension began to dissipate in the face of his friend’s own anxiousness; he really should have known that Wonwoo would have that sort of effect on him, that their friendship was stronger than some silly—though very well-founded—accusations.

“I know, you haven’t done that in forever,” Soonyoung chuckled back as he clumsily handed the pack of cigarettes over, as well as Wonwoo’s jacket, and he watched the taller shrug it on. “No one was mad, just… surprised, is all.” He paused for a moment then, hesitating again, but luckily Wonwoo was focused on lighting his cigarette and didn’t immediately take notice. Once he pocketed the lighter, the younger’s sharp eyes focused on Soonyoung yet again, reminding him to speak, and Soonyoung’s composure fell instantaneously.

The older of the two lowered his gaze to avoid prolonged contact, Jeonghan’s accusations still ringing clearly in his ears. “Um, I, uh, don’t know what came over me, either,” Soonyoung continues hurriedly, dragging the sole of his shoe against the pavement. A long pause followed, growing painfully awkward, and Soonyoung’s eyeballs felt super-glued to the concrete. He fiddled with the drawstrings of his hood, anything to distract himself from the burning heat in his cheeks; he might not have been as sobered up as he thought. “I, uh, know it wasn’t that big of a deal,” he adds after a couple beats. “I guess I was just embarrassed.”

Just when Soonyoung was sure he was going to lose his mind from the awkwardness of it all, Wonwoo finally spoke up. “Yeah, I guess it really wasn’t that big a deal,” the taller man retorted, but he sounded so annoyed that it took the other aback. Soonyoung looked up at Wonwoo with his brow furrowed in confusion, a question on his lips, except Wonwoo was looking out into the dark streets instead, his eyes on the cars that passed them by. “Yet you’re _still_ so fucking self-conscious right now, it’s ridiculous. You can’t even look at me.”

“W-What’s that supposed to mean?” Soonyoung questioned, confused, fists clenching as the cornered feeling returned with a vengeance.

“It means exactly what I said,” Wonwoo grunted back, expelling smoke from his mouth as he continued to glare into nothingness. His long fingers suddenly twitched, betraying the tension in his body—he was trembling too, Soonyoung realized with a start—and the cigarette he was holding fell to the ground at his shoes. Wonwoo let out a string of frustrated curses, running his hand through his dark hair as he looked down at it. Soonyoung’s eyes followed, dropping to the still-burning tip of the cigarette and then to the gray ash that had sprinkled onto Wonwoo’s black boots.

When he finally looked up again, Wonwoo was looking right back, pink lips pursed before he asked, “Do you really hate me that much?”

The question was so sudden, so groundless, that Soonyoung gaped incredulously at Wonwoo, his shoulders slumping in disbelief. “Are you kidding me? Please tell me you’re joking right now.”

It was Wonwoo’s turn to look away first at that moment, and he’d turned his body to face the street again; in the dark, his expression was unreadable, and Soonyoung almost wanted to yank him back around to look at his face and figure out just what was going through his mind right then. “I don’t know. Maybe?” Wonwoo slowly replied, hands buried deep in his pockets. Instead of smoke, small clouds of condensation came from his mouth as he spoke, reminding Soonyoung just how cold it was. “I just… wonder, sometimes.”

He still wasn’t laughing, and Soonyoung realized with a sinking feeling that Wonwoo truly wasn’t joking. Maybe he wasn’t as sobered up as he seemed either, or maybe this was something he genuinely worried about. “Did you not hear what everyone said to us back there?” Soonyoung questioned, and he gestured wildly with his hands at the space between them to convey… _something_. The distance felt so big in that moment, so strange, just like their entire evening had been so far, but Soonyoung didn’t step forward to fill it like he usually would, still grasping at straws. “Why on earth would I room with someone I hate? Or talk to them?” He couldn’t help the hurt seeping into his voice, the shock dissolving into something more intense. “Wonwoo… you’re my best friend. You—You know that.”

Wonwoo didn’t say anything for a while after that, the—strange, horrible, ugly—Soonyoung could go on—silence starting to resettle. Soonyoung thought to say more, unsure what he could do to fix this bizarre tension between them, but his tongue felt heavy in his mouth, eyes stinging as he stared at the profile of Wonwoo’s indecipherable face. This kind of thing, it just wasn’t them. Weird feelings and not looking each other in the eye, space and stilted conversation… it was all so wrong.

Wonwoo spoke when Soonyoung least expected, his words dropping like bombs all over what was left of Soonyoung’s composure. “Does that mean that they’re right, then? Are you really in love with me?”

Just like that, Soonyoung’s skin felt like he’d been set on fire, heart drumming so hard in his throat he could have spat it out right then and there. “H-How did you suddenly come to that conclusion? Didn’t you just say I hated you?” he sputtered out after a couple seconds of distress, clearing his throat so he wouldn’t sound as confronted as he felt. He was shaking again, and he quickly shoved his hands into his pockets to disguise the sudden growing panic in his chest, petrified of slipping up in a way that his friend would find out his feelings and make permanent whatever this growing gap between them was.

“Well at this point it could only be one or the other, right?” Wonwoo continued with a sigh, and he finally turned to look at Soonyoung again. Soonyoung hadn’t known where to look, feeling cornered and unable to look away. “Or neither, I guess. But… I’ve noticed some things. It’s never been halfway, with us. For anything.”

Wonwoo’s stare was searching, cautious as he scanned over Soonyoung’s face, and Soonyoung could only hope he hadn’t looked as frightened as he felt. He was incredibly aware that between the two of them he was not the one blessed with a poker face, and he clears his throat again, trying to find words that didn’t seem to want to come out. Soonyoung was straight up panicking, Wonwoo’s expectant expression still directed towards him, waiting, despite all of Soonyoung’s thoughts consisting of just a slur of _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, he can’t find out, not like this, not ever._

“What are you so afraid of?” Wonwoo asked, making Soonyoung flinch at being called out. When the taller shifts to step closer, maybe to comfort him or maybe to push him into answering—who knows—Soonyoung took two steps back instead, staring owlishly back up at Wonwoo. Wonwoo should know why he’s so afraid; they haven’t been best friends this long for him _not_ to know.

“I can’t lose you,” Soonyoung whispers, chewing on his lower lip again. He tastes iron and tries to stop himself, but he can’t help it. “You were all I had in high school. You’re all I have now, too.”

“Soonyoung…” Wonwoo starts, running his long fingers through his hair again. He looks frustrated, eyes clenched shut as he shakes his head. “This isn’t high school anymore. No one cares that you’re gay, and you _know_ it never mattered to me either! But why is it that you still somehow have this idea that I’ll hate you if you love me?”

Soonyoung gaped back like a fish, a million thoughts going through his head but none of them coherent enough for him to think clearly. He wanted nothing more than to tie it up with a knot so tight so that wouldn’t matter if anyone ever said anything else to them ever again. “I’m not in love with you,” he’d mumbled, feeling a little choked up even as he denied it. “I’m not.”

Wonwoo’s face visibly fell, and he rubbed the back of his neck again, perplexed as he continued to study Soonyoung’s face. “Right, okay. Okay, fine. Shit, so then why—”

“Look, we’re both exhausted,” Soonyoung cut in with a voice that begged for him to stop this conversation, wherever it was going, and he finally wrenched his gaze from Wonwoo’s clutches so that he would stop looking into his soul, stop trying to read him and figure him out—only to be sucked back in again when he glanced back up, unable to help himself when he could still feel Wonwoo’s eyes on him. “We drank a lot, too. We’re obviously not thinking clearly. Can’t we… can’t we just pretend like the past couple hours didn’t happen? Go back to not noticing or caring about each other? Like we always do?”

He practically begged those last few words; even referring to them as ‘us’ felt like he was maybe admitting to something, anything, and it terrified him. He didn’t want to lose Wonwoo. He couldn’t. Soonyoung didn’t know how to function anymore without him. And maybe he wouldn’t have been this raw, this honest, this scared, or this emotional if he wasn’t drunk. Maybe he would have handled it much better if back in high school no one had ever found out that he had a crush on his homeroom teacher. Maybe if he had just been emotionally prepared to laugh it all off with their friends and act like he wouldn’t care if Wonwoo didn’t love him back, he would be honest. Because, there was just no way that Wonwoo didn’t know now. Not when he can see it in Wonwoo’s eyes as he looked back at Soonyoung with a concerned expression that turned more and more troubled the more Soonyoung babbled on, his words incoherent in his desperation.

In fact, Wonwoo looked offended. Angry, even. His face was thunderous, his lips parting to speak and making Soonyoung shut up instantaneously, waiting to be hated or scolded or _something_ , but no words came from the taller man’s mouth. He continued to stare at Soonyoung, still searching for something, but his shoulders had finally slumped after a minute of dead silence. His expression was suddenly impassive, visibly tired and worn from the long day, and Soonyoung thinks he might’ve imagined the anger that was there just moments before—the heat in Wonwoo’s gaze that made it feel like something had lodged itself in Soonyoung’s throat, zipping his lips tight, was suddenly gone without a trace.

“Sure, Soonyoung,” he’d finally said, turning away as he broke the silence again. “You’re right. Let’s just forget it.” His voice was colder than usual, but Soonyoung hadn’t really noticed then. The last bus of the night that they usually took back to the dorms showed up at the same time, and Soonyoung wasn’t really sure if it was a blessing or inopportune. Wonwoo didn’t speak again after that, stepping into the bus when the doors opened for them to get in, and the relief had made Soonyoung’s shoulders slump, the tension in his body finally dispersing to the far corners of the universe as he followed Wonwoo up the creaky, narrow steps.

They sit next to each other, shoulders brushing, and amidst the loud rumble of the bus, Soonyoung finally allows his eyes to droop closed, exhaustion crawling up his spine. It’s nearly one in the morning when they finally got back to the dorms, and the walk had been dead silent. That wasn’t unusual for them, the quiet normally filled with companionship, but Soonyoung felt like he was suffocating. Wonwoo slept in a bed just a few feet away in the small room that they shared, but the distance between them was miles wide. Soonyoung went to sleep in hopes that the moment would pass, curling under a mass of blankets and wanting nothing more than for the last couple hours to just disappear from his memories; and, in a way, they did.

And that is how they wound up here, with Wonwoo avoiding him.

Soonyoung thought they would have slept away whatever strange atmosphere had fallen over them since the party last night, but clearly this is not the case. Wonwoo is suddenly too difficult to read, avoiding him at every turn, and not even sparing Soonyoung a single glance. This is not what Soonyoung wanted when he said to go back to usual; in fact, it’s somehow _worse_ than last night, and Soonyoung’s stomach turns at the thought that Wonwoo could have seen through his lie. Maybe Soonyoung’s feelings are harder to ignore than he thought they would be. Even then, Soonyoung had been somewhat sure that Wonwoo would be fine even if he ever did find out, but just because they were best friends that didn’t mean it still didn’t make him uncomfortable.

Soonyoung has been down this road once before, when he came out back in high school. That too had been an accident, when an unsent love letter he wrote for his teacher fell from his bag, and he’d been shunned by all his classmates—save for one. Wonwoo stuck by his side the entirety of senior year, and it didn’t matter to anyone that Wonwoo wasn’t like Soonyoung, they’d still been called all sorts of horrible names regardless. He and Wonwoo never cared because they always had each other’s backs since the beginning. It made them closer, like real brothers, and Soonyoung had vowed to himself then he would never harbor a crush on Wonwoo if he could help it, never wanting to risk losing their friendship. And he was right, he never did have a crush on Wonwoo—no, like a fool Soonyoung just straight up woke up one day two years ago and realized that he’d been in love, all this time.

Soonyoung realizes in that moment that, really, he should have just been honest. In his alcohol-induced panic, Soonyoung had forgotten just how much Wonwoo cared about him all these years. He’d stood up for him all that time, and the fact that Soonyoung doubted him even for a second was almost insulting. Something like this would never make Wonwoo hate him or be grossed out—they weren’t ignorant kids anymore. Soonyoung has had several boyfriends over the years and never once has Wonwoo looked at him strangely or treated him any different, and Soonyoung feels bad at how afraid he’d been of Wonwoo and what he could have said. If things had to become awkward, if their friendship had to suffer over his feelings, then at least Soonyoung wanted to be truthful.

No one in Soonyoung’s general vicinity is aware of his life-changing realization, his art history professor continuing to drone on the platform about modern art and how it shaped art over the years. By the time the class is finally over an hour and a half later in the evening, Soonyoung is the first out the door. He’s not sure what he plans on doing now when Wonwoo clearly doesn’t want anything to do with him, but he figures that he needs to forcefully find and talk to Wonwoo like his life depended on it. It helps that he already has Wonwoo’s entire schedule memorized, just like Wonwoo has memorized his—which means that Wonwoo is also well-equipped with the knowledge on how to avoid Soonyoung now that they’ve both finished their final classes of the day.

Soonyoung stops by Mingyu and Minghao’s dorm, disappointment making him groan when he walks in on Mingyu cooking something in the kitchenette and Minghao stretching in his workout gear in the living room getting ready for a jog, but no sign of Wonwoo. Soonyoung leaves before they can get a word out to him, confused by his sudden appearance. Desperation makes him head to his second-best bet, which was back at the eldest hyungs’ apartment where they had their party last night. Only Seungcheol was home currently, still picking up after the party, which makes Soonyoung hopeful that maybe Wonwoo might have come over to play videogames with him, however Seungcheol only tells him that he hasn’t seen Wonwoo since they all had lunch together.

It’s already getting dark by the time the bus brings him back to campus and Soonyoung checks Junhui’s frat in case Wonwoo was hanging out there (he wasn’t), then Jihoon’s undergrad studio (not there, either), then the theater where Seokmin and Seungkwan were preparing for the play (nope), and lastly, the library where Chan and Vernon work part time (a resounding no). Soonyoung walks out of the university library another hour later with his hopes properly dashed; he’d gone through every level, peeked into every booth and study room window, all in case Wonwoo was hiding out in one of them. (He hadn’t been.)

Soonyoung honestly had no idea where else to look. Wonwoo’s phone is off, either because the battery already died since he always forgets to charge it, or he’s just been straight up rejecting Soonyoung’s calls instead of letting it ring to voicemail. Wonwoo has always been very efficient at hiding when he didn’t want to be found, but normally Soonyoung was an exception to this rule, except that this time he was the reason for it. The awareness of this left a bitter taste in his mouth, and Soonyoung dragged his feet all the way back to their dorm, hoping he’ll have better luck tomorrow. He could always stay up late and wait for Wonwoo to show up like he eventually would in order to sleep, but Soonyoung wasn’t a night owl the way Wonwoo was. He would probably pass out before it even hit two in the morning; they were just different like that.

As he approaches the residence hall, dragging his feet the entire way, Soonyoung thinks he’s hallucinating when he spots a familiar lone figure smoking out in the cold, right next to the only bench with a lamplight near it. Since smoking is prohibited inside the dorms, that was Wonwoo’s usual place to go, but Soonyoung didn’t want to get his hopes up in case it wasn’t him. After a couple seconds their eyes lock despite the distance, like they had some sort of homing signal, and they both freeze. Another beat later, Wonwoo finally gives him a curt nod of acknowledgement, awkwardly waving even from this far, and Soonyoung thinks he feels tears prick the corners of his eyes at the fact that he’s no longer being ignored, immediately starting to head over. Soonyoung breaks out into a jog until he is finally standing in front of Wonwoo for what feels like the first time in eternity despite it not even being an entire day, breathless and stunned to find him here.

Soonyoung takes a moment to take in Wonwoo’s appearance for a second, the way he’s looking back at Soonyoung instead of avoiding his gaze, and his heart feels a little less heavy than it did all day. He quickly closes the gap between them without hesitating for even a moment, wrapping his arms around Wonwoo’s lanky limbs in a tight hug. Wonwoo doesn’t say anything at first, leaning into the embrace despite not being able to use his hands, what with Soonyoung trapping him like this, and just allowing the moment to happen. Then, he speaks, voice low and quiet in the cold night, warm only because of how close they are to each other.

“I’m sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment if cute awkward bffs make u emo too. the last part will be up sooner than this was - this just got too long for my taste, so i decided to divide it.


	3. It's just like oxygen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking so long, i got distracted! unedited as usual. enjoy!

Soonyoung doesn’t pull away, face still buried in Wonwoo’s bony shoulder, the leather jacket cushioning his forehead. He never thought he’d be this happy to smell a familiar brand of cigarettes again, but there was a first time for everything; funny how Wonwoo was always there for those. Soonyoung is hit with a sudden wave of emotion and he squeezes the taller man tighter, well-aware that Wonwoo’s arms are trapped under his; Wonwoo still doesn’t complain, his head resting against Soonyoung’s, and Soonyoung’s throat tightens before he finally speaks.

“Sorry for what?”

“For avoiding you all morning, dumbass,” the younger retorts, and Soonyoung can practically hear the eye-roll in Wonwoo’s voice.

“Well don’t be,” Soonyoung informs him with a wistful chuckle and a shake of his head, closing his eyes as he thinks back to the tension from last night. “If anything, I was the one who made it so awkward. There was nothing to feel weird about.”

Wonwoo doesn’t say anything immediately after that, and for a second Soonyoung worries that the conversation is over when he still needs to come clean about his feelings. If he doesn’t say it now, he might not ever, but Wonwoo speaks before he can be hasty and blurt out something stupid like he usually does.

“I just… needed some time alone to sort myself out without you confusing me,” the taller confesses, sighing heavily as his shoulders go slack. Soonyoung takes a step back to look at him properly, still holding onto Wonwoo’s arms. There is a raw emotion on Wonwoo’s face that he’s never seen before, something new in his gaze; he looks back down at Soonyoung like he still has so much to say but doesn’t know how to say it, lips parted but no words coming out.

Bewilderment makes Soonyoung furrow his brow as he tries to decipher the new emotion, chewing on his lip for a second. “I confuse you? How?”

Wonwoo ducks his head, looking embarrassed as he turns away and making Soonyoung drop the hold he has on him. The world seems so much emptier at the sudden loss, colder even, reflected by the lack of heat making goosebumps break out on Soonyoung’s skin. Wonwoo doesn’t take note of Soonyoung’s musings, instead rubbing his face with his palms as ashes fall from the cigarette between his fingers. Wonwoo makes his way to the bench, plopping himself down on the wooden slats and resting his elbows on his knees; he stares at the gravel on the ground like they held all the answers to the universe.

“Yeah,” Wonwoo finally replies after a while, but he doesn’t look very happy about it. He opens and closes his mouth a few more times, obviously still sorting out his thoughts and words, before he continues talking. “God, I stood out here waiting for you all evening, thinking I finally had everything figured out when I finally got around to talking to you, but now that you’re actually in front of me...” Wonwoo looks disheartened as he trails off, and Soonyoung feels his heart sinking to see his friend struggling to explain himself.

Despite still being lost over the direction of the conversation, Soonyoung steps closer and sidles up to his friend on the bench. “Hey, take your time,” he comforts, offering Wonwoo a small smile. He places his hand atop of Wonwoo’s without even thinking, as natural as breathing. His hand is just as cold as Soonyoung’s, if not more, and it’s then that he notices all the cigarettes littering the ground at their feet. His heart squeezes painfully at the thought that Wonwoo had just been standing out here, pacing in the cold, waiting for Soonyoung to come back home to the dorm all this time when he’d been looking for him everywhere else.

If Soonyoung was honest with himself, he’d say he actually knew that Wonwoo would be here all this time. He’s say that he’d just been wasting time, avoiding the inevitable conversation about last night because in the end, Wonwoo had always been the more responsible adult between the two of them.

Soonyoung tightens his hold on Wonwoo’s fingers, maybe in an attempt to warm them, although he isn’t really sure of that himself, guilt clawing at his insides, but then Wonwoo just as suddenly slips his hand out of Soonyoung’s hold. Before the older man can glance up to question it, the taller turns up his palm in a silent offer, his long, bony fingers spread open for Soonyoung to thread his own fingers between. It takes a second for the gesture to sink in and Soonyoung inadvertently smiles to himself, giddy, quickly pressing his lips together to suppress at least some of the happiness but it’s hard to do that when they both squeeze each other’s hands so tightly afterwards.

Soonyoung looks up at Wonwoo to say something, maybe to crack a funny joke or a silly comment to express this bubbling feeling inside of his chest, but the oncoming giggle catches in his throat when their eyes meet. Wonwoo doesn’t look like he’s in any mood to joke around, and he’s got that expression on his face that tells Soonyoung that he’s trying his hardest to read him. He’s seen Wonwoo give this look to strangers before, to Soonyoung’s past boyfriends, to anyone that he’s not sure he should trust, and a heavier emotion makes a home in Soonyoung’s stomach.

“What?” he questions hoarsely, voice coming out shakier and quieter than he intended, and he swallows thickly even as he holds Wonwoo’s hand much tighter than before. “What… what’s wrong?”

Wonwoo drops his eyes to their interlocked hands but he doesn’t say anything for a moment. “Last night… you said that you wanted us to go back to not noticing or caring about each other. You said that that was what we always do. But this—” he picks up their hands for emphasis, but doesn’t let go, “—isn’t that. How many times have we held hands like this, just because?”

Soonyoung feels his neck heat up, ashamed as he stares at their hands as well. “That… that was a stupid thing for me to say, wasn’t it? I’m sorry.”

Wonwoo clears his throat, and Soonyoung lifts his head to look at the younger’s profile. “It hurt when you said that,” Wonwoo tells him, voice low, and Soonyoung’s throat tightens again. “I always notice and care about you. And I thought you felt the same, but I guess I was wrong. I just feel stupid for thinking that you treated me any differently from anyone else.”

Soonyoung’s heart sinks down to his feet. “No, no, no, that’s not true,” he stresses, pressing his free hand against the side of Wonwoo’s head to turn him so that they can face each other, to convey his sincerity and carefully examine Wonwoo’s expression as he speaks. “You’ve always been different for me, Wonwoo. I can be myself around you. I don’t have to be silly or crazy or happy or funny. I can just be me, and I wouldn’t trade that for the world.”

A small, shy smile quirks up the corner of the taller man’s lips before it disappears just as fast, and he ducks his head before looking away again; Soonyoung can’t tell if his cheeks are pink from the cold or from what Soonyoung just said to him. “You should save talk like that for your boyfriends, Soon-ah,” Wonwoo mutters, although he sounds happy. “You’ll make me feel hopeful for no reason.”

The world seems to freeze then, time pausing as Soonyoung’s heart stops right along with it. “H-Hopeful about what?” he stutters out, feeling self-conscious even though Wonwoo isn’t looking at him anymore, gazing instead up at the stars overhead, dying cigarette between his lips.

“I thought you were in love with me for the past couple months,” Wonwoo confesses with a sigh, and smoke curls out from his mouth and into the sky when he chuckles a little. “I think I… I got carried away by the idea of it and I was almost kind of hopeful last night before you… yeah. I just. I still need some time to reset. I didn’t even realize that I felt this way. I guess I really liked the idea of us.”

Soonyoung’s throat has gone dry from how hard he’s gaping, mind caught in a whirlwind of confusing emotions. “Wonwoo, you’re not really making any sense here. What are you trying to say?”

Wonwoo doesn’t respond right away, humming a little as he finishes his cigarette. He looks thoughtful, albeit a little sad, too. “I don’t really know either, if I’m completely honest,” Wonwoo replies with a short laugh, and when he looks back at Soonyoung his nose is crinkling from his wide smile. “Maybe I’m more of an idiot than you are after all, huh?”

“Hey!” Soonyoung cries out, affronted, smacking the taller man’s shoulder, but his heart is racing unbelievably hard in his chest—so hard he thinks he might faint right then and there. Wonwoo tries to evade the attack by leaning away but he doesn’t actually go anywhere, just laughing instead, and Soonyoung catches himself laughing as well. “For the record, you’re right, you _are_ the dumb one between us.”

“Well, if you really don’t know what I’m getting at by now, I think I might actually be wrong for the first time in my life,” Wonwoo retorts, and although he’s still grinning, his eyes are dead serious. He tightens his hold on Soonyoung’s hand then, as if to prove a point, and Soonyoung looks down at his lap because, yeah, he does get it. He really would be stupid if he didn’t know, although he’s somewhat bitter that Wonwoo was first to come clean.

When he looks up to say as much, Soonyoung’s heart does a little flip at the small, fond smile Wonwoo is directing to him. It makes Soonyoung feel uncharacteristically shy, although just as always his mouth moves before his brain can even register the words. “What?” he demands, acting pushy as he bumps his shoulder against Wonwoo’s, feeling incredibly aware of how embarrassing they were being out in public like this. Like usual Wonwoo takes a moment to respond, as if gathering his thoughts first before speaking, and Soonyoung is reminded in the pause of just how different they are.

And yet.

“You don’t know this because I never told you,” Wonwoo starts, sounding wistful as he looks up again at the stars, “but back in high school, right after shit hit the fan our senior year, people always used to ask me if I wasn’t scared you’d fall in love with me.”

Soonyoung’s heart squeezes painfully right then, startled by the rawness of Wonwoo’s voice. He stares attentively at Wonwoo’s profile, chewing on his lower lip as he listens. “Were you?” he asks softly, but Wonwoo just raises their joined hands to Soonyoung’s mouth and presses it there, silencing him with a shake of his head.

“It was like… just because you were gay, that meant that you had to be in love with every man in the world. That I was supposed to hate it for whatever reason, like someone having a crush on me was somehow not flattering all because you weren’t a girl,” Wonwoo continues, and there is an angry bitterness to his deep voice that Soonyoung has never experienced before. “I hated it so much, Soon-ah. I got into so many fights because of you then.”

Soonyoung can’t help the chuckle at the reminder, although his heart is also heavy from the memories at the same time. Although some of the moments were almost hilariously memorable, it was still a dark time for them. The Soonyoung back then was small and unintimidating, and people found it so easy to push him around. Although he’s still pretty unintimidating now, he could at least stand up for himself without bursting into tears. Back then, Wonwoo always did it for him instead, and Soonyoung couldn’t even count on all his fingers and toes the number of times they were in detention and Wonwoo wasn’t hurt in some sort of way after a fight.

Now, nearly four years later, Wonwoo has grown into his final form as a soft, quiet, lanky stick of a human being with his nose constantly in a book or glued to the computer. None of their current friends would even begin to imagine what he’d been like in high school, always angry and volatile, although for good reason. Soonyoung used to feel so guilty for making someone with as gentle as Wonwoo act so out of his nature, but Wonwoo always told him it was his choice, that he would do it all again if it meant standing up for him. Now, the only thing Soonyoung regrets is not having more faith in himself, even now.

“But why are you suddenly remembering that now?” Soonyoung asks, voice husky, and he realizes with a start that he’s tearing up. He wipes at his eyes with a shaky hand, surprised at himself for getting so emotional and laughing at his own expense. “I thought we decided to act like high school never happened.”

Wonwoo grins when he glances at Soonyoung again, helping him wipe away some of the forming tears at the corners of his eyes. The younger man betrays his own emotions by sniffling as well, releasing another small chuckle when Soonyoung pokes at his side for getting caught. He rests his head on his friend’s shoulder, throwing away his spent cigarette before closing his eyes. “Because I kinda stuck with that mentality for a long time after that, that we shouldn’t be more than friends just to prove a point to people that never even mattered in the first place,” Wonwoo admits sadly, absently stroking the back of Soonyoung’s hand with his fingers. “I spent years dismissing all the signs as I grew more aware of you, and then last night, I figured out the truth. But it wasn’t just your truth, Soon-ah… it was mine too.”

Again, the world seems to stop, but this time, the only one that is moving is Wonwoo. Soonyoung’s heart beats in time to the rhythm of Wonwoo’s words, and Soonyoung watches, enraptured by the way the younger man’s eyelashes flutter as he blinks, the way his glasses fog from his own breath, the cold night no longer feeling as cold as it had only minutes before. “I was scared that maybe everyone was overthinking it, that I was getting ahead of myself,” Wonwoo continues, sitting up straight again to look Soonyoung in the eyes; the sudden change startles him, staring back at Wonwoo with wide eyes and parted lips. “Soonyoung, when you said it wasn’t true, I think… I think my heart really broke.”

Soonyoung’s own heart squeezes extra painfully then, stomach sinking to the bottom of the ocean. “Wonwoo, it was just—I was just—” he begins to explain, but Wonwoo stops him again with another shake of his head.

“When I saw how uncomfortable you looked when everyone was saying stuff about us, I realized that just because I liked it, it didn’t mean that you did too,” Wonwoo confesses, and he meets Soonyoung’s gaze almost desperately now, still endlessly searching and trying to understand his innermost feelings, as if Soonyoung didn’t already wear his heart on his sleeve for him. “It brought back those thoughts I used to have in high school, how just because we only had each other back then it didn’t mean that I was suddenly entitled to your feelings. I was so goddamn hopeful though, Soon-ah, it was pathetic. I just… what everyone said suddenly made so much more sense because they validated all my hopes, that I wasn’t just being some sort of selfish prick for thinking you could be in love with me, somehow, some way.”

“It’s not somehow!” Soonyoung finally chokes out, angrily punching Wonwoo’s bony shoulder, although not too hard. They’re still holding each other’s hand, but it’s like a death grip now, like they were the only things anchoring each other to the world; it probably wasn’t a very wise decision, but neither of them particularly cared. “Don’t belittle yourself like that. Do you not realize all you’ve done for me?”

Wonwoo isn’t crying, but his eyes are glassy behind his round specs, and all Soonyoung wants to do is hold him close and kiss him. “What I did was nothing. I did what every human on this planet should have done. But. But, if I… if I decide to believe you,” Wonwoo begins, hushing the older man with the palm of his hand before he can lash out again, “then, Soonyoung, I’m really only going to ask you one more time before I put this moment behind us and never look back.”

Soonyoung doesn’t know what to say or what he’s about to ask, breath clogged up in his lungs and lips pursed as he tries to take in every last bit of Wonwoo’s overwhelming expression, trying to decipher and understand something he’s never seen before. A soft whimper escapes his lips when he suddenly feels Wonwoo’s hot palm curl around the side of his neck, the heat making goosebumps raise all over his skin as he jolts before shivering at the contact, but Wonwoo isn’t looking at him anymore, instead staring almost dreadfully down at his lap.

“Soonyoung… are you in love with me?”

The world remains frozen around them, quiet and still, but Soonyoung’s heart is beating so loudly in his ears that he can’t even hear himself think, mind whirring around in circles as the words spill from between his lips, almost desperate to come out of him. “Wonwoo, you’re not just every human on the planet to me.” He pauses because he’s having trouble regulating his breathing, but he wants to get it out no matter what, squeezing Wonwoo’s hand so tight he might cut off the blood circulation. “You’re the only one.”

Wonwoo looks up so fast that their heads almost bump together, and he looks so surprised that Soonyoung wants to punch him. Or maybe kiss him. It’s a little difficult to decide. “You mean that? You can’t take it back, you know.”

Soonyoung bites down on his lip to suppress an exasperated laugh. “It’s always been you, to be honest,” he admits, smiling brightly through his watery eyes. “I guess that just means we’re both dumbasses then.”

Wonwoo nods, mirroring his laugh before his dark eyes drop to Soonyoung’s mouth and make his heart skip a beat in the middle of its incessant pounding—Soonyoung really thinks he might die before the evening is even over. “I’m okay with that,” Wonwoo replies, licking his lips, and, like instinct they both lean forward at the same time, lips meeting halfway—just like everything else they’ve ever done together.

The entire world finally comes back to life, but Soonyoung doesn’t even notice.

 

 

 

 

Later, when they get back into their dorm, lips swollen from kissing and skin flushed from being out in the cold for song, Soonyoung rolls his eyes at Wonwoo’s unsure floundering, pushing the taller man down on his bed and immediately climbing on top to straddle him.

“Uh—” Wonwoo clears his throat, face going a little red. “Shouldn’t we, like, uh, wait first? Go on dates and stuff before… you know?”

“Don’t you remember what everyone said? Whenever we’re together, it’s basically a date. That’s like, a billion dates already,” Soonyoung snaps back, feeling impulsive, although he does stop unbuttoning Wonwoo’s shirt, hesitating. Now it’s Soonyoung’s turn to be awkward, a matching blush slowly forming on his cheeks when he realizes how carried away he’s getting. “We can, uh, wait though. If you want.”

They both stare at each other for a second of silence before bursting out laughing. It’s the most embarrassed yet completely open Soonyoung has ever seen Wonwoo, who normally likes to put on a bit of a front even if it’s not always a good one, and Soonyoung’s heart really can’t handle it. He leans down again, grabbing hold of Wonwoo’s collar and lifting his head a little so that they can kiss some more. His heart hammers so loudly in his chest that he’s sure that the other man can hear it, and when he pulls back, Wonwoo is staring back up at him with half-lidded eyes and skewed glasses that make his stomach swoop in a way it’s never done before.

“What do you want to do, then?” Soonyoung asks, voice throaty as he licks his lips, failing to not stare at Wonwoo’s mouth as he attempts to get out some form of coherent thought; he’s really been waiting and wanting this for this for far too long. “Make out? Or maybe talk some more about how dumb we are?”

Wonwoo laughs at the suggestion, immediately taking notice of Soonyoung’s wandering gaze and making the older man shyly look away in mortification. “Don’t ask when you already know, you idiot,” Wonwoo replies before pulling Soonyoung close again and startling him. Wonwoo’s cheeks are endearingly pink, although Soonyoung is sure that his face is a matching shade. “Didn’t we already go on a billion dates already? What are we waiting for then?”

Soonyoung blinks back in surprise before laughing loudly, the brash sound muffling when their mouths meet again and mixes with Wonwoo’s own, and Soonyoung thinks not for the first time that night that it should be illegal to be this happy.

 

They don’t make it to class on time the following morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed my take on soonwoo <3 i've also got a sci-fi soonwoo fic in the works, so keep an eye out for that! :) i'll probably never get around to editing this since it was kinda on whim, but hopefully i didn't make too many mistakes lol. please leave a comment if you can, and thanks for reading!


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